Ramblings of the Certifiably Insane
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in
Devil Miyu's LiveJournal:
| Friday, April 10th, 2009 | |
| 1:25 pm | Mourning .....  On Wed, 31/12/08, NOEL EVERINGHAM wrote: AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES. Interesting and sadly true.
I'd like to thank my good friend ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} xdeaths_embrace for sharing this with me. I wanted to use a "sad" icon for this one but I realised that I had forgotten to make one. So hm, thanks for the reminder. ~*6 Slashes §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~  |
| Friday, October 10th, 2008 | |
| 8:11 pm | People are weird and people suck! Last night, I saw this bit on the news. Watch it, go on. Then tell me what you think. Here's how I see it... The guy was so obsessed with her that he threatened to kill her relatives. I don't understand that. Basically saying, "I love you, I have to have you and I will kill everyone close to you, everyone that means anything to you, because I love you so much and I want you to know that." This guy is sick! And she's a minor too. Over the years I've come across a lot of strange people over the internet. I often wondered why they are the way they are and what makes them think that what they're doing is okay. I mean, that's just downright wrong. Also, I can't imagine why people would put up with that kind of crap. This sort of thing just reminds me of the sort of people I've dealt with. Which is probably why I only talk to those I trust. And even at that...there aren't too many people I trust 100%. I hope the family's okay. I'm sorry their cat died and that they're still going through a lot of grief over this. I hope that the guy who did this would realise one day what he did was wrong. I doubt it though. Why? Because people are weird and people suck! Well, not all of them, but sheesh, there sure is a lot of those out there lately. Thank you, bedroom, for hiding me and keeping me away from such horrid people! ~*1 Slash §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 | |
| 1:39 am | Read. Acknowledge. Understand.....Learn. (A rare public post from me.) Hello, my name is Anna. A lot of people out there (friends and family) know me as Miyu. I work for the Department of Defense up at Hill Air Force Base. I deal with a lot of people in my line of work. It's a very stressful but fun job because in my line of work, I get to meet a lot of people from different parts of the world. I have my reasons for posting this. Mainly it's because as a reminder from work, September is Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month. Suicide is a very touchy subject for me for personal reasons. I've also lost a few friends of mine to suicide. I'd like to share this with you folks out there because, some how, some way, this might help someone out there. Perhaps through awareness, a life out there can be saved from being yet another suicide statistic. So please, read this. Acknowledge it in your own way. Try to understand it. And perhaps, learn from it. You just never know. Maybe someone you know, someone close to you is contemplating ending their life this very moment. Perhaps, before going on with this rest of this post, you might want to read my public post about Depression. There is no typical suicide victim. It happens to young and old, rich and poor. To quote William Styron, "To most of those who have experienced it, the horror of depression is so overwhelming as to be quite beyond expression...if depression had no termination, then suicide would, indeed, be the only remedy. But...depression is not the soul's annihilation; men and women who have recovered from the disease-and they are countless-bear witness to what is probably its only saving grace: it is conquerable." There are so many myths and misconceptions of suicide. Often, it is the lack of understanding, that fails to save lives in the end. Gathering bits and pieces from various places, I've put this together, so that you would know.... A person *might* be suicidal if he or she: • Talks about committing suicide • Has trouble eating or sleeping • Experiences drastic changes in behavior • Withdraws from friends and/or social activities • Loses interest in hobbies, work, school, etc. • Prepares for death by making out a will and final arrangements • Gives away prized possessions • Has attempted suicide before • Takes unnecessary risks • Has had recent severe losses • Is preoccupied with death and dying • Loses interest in their personal appearance • Increases their use of alcohol or drugs - or in some cases, decrease the use of, or cease the use of, drugs that are prescribed to them (for treatment of various illnesses) that *could* save their lives. Here are some ways to be helpful to someone who is contemplating suicide: • Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide. • Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings. • Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life. • Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support. • Don’t dare him or her to do it. • Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you. • Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support. • Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance. • Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills. • Get help from people or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention. Be aware of feelings! Do not dismiss them or impune them. Many people at some time in their lives think about committing suicide. Most decide to live, because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death is permanent. On other hand, people having a crisis sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control. These are some of the feelings and things they experience: - Can’t stop the pain - Can’t think clearly - Can’t make decisions - Can’t see any way out - Can’t sleep, eat or work - Can’t get out of depression - Can’t make the sadness go away - Can’t see a future without pain - Can’t see themselves as worthwhile - Can’t get someone’s attention - Can’t seem to get control If someone you know exhibits these symptoms, offer help! ( The rest of it is hidden behind here. ) ~*3 Slashes §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Thursday, August 14th, 2008 | |
| 6:36 pm | Just because... Every act has its consequence. We may not be aware of its importance, but in some way, each event contributes to a bigger picture, the significance of which will be revealed only in time. Be patient. Be diligent. Be more accepting and forgiving of people and things. If we can accept this, we can appreciate the importance of simple, seemingly inconsequential acts we perform without thought, words we speak without consideration or hopes we dash without regard. It's good form to approach everyone you meet as an individual with dignity and a life as complicated and mysterious as your own. It's good advice to discard preconceptions and suspend, even for a moment, the idea that you "know this type". Chances are, you could be mistaken. You could be wrong. Do these things and perhaps you might learn the most important lesson that love can teach us: that each person is worthy of our love simply because they are precious and unique. Because they are only human--humans being. I guess, do that and begin from there. I am only human. I am extremely flawed. I take chances. I make mistakes. I make amends. I dream. I fail. I loathe. I fall. I live. I love. I learn... I learned that Compassion is an act of tolerance where kindness and forgiveness reign. I learned that when we make the compassionate choice, we all enhance the dignity of each individual, which is the very essence of loving them. I learned that Love is always bestowed as a gift--freely, willingly, and without expectation. It is offered even when not acknowledged or appreciated. People don't love to be loved. No. I don't think that's right. We all love to love. I love you, Mr. Raven Black. Thank you for being there for me, comforting me, when everything else feels like it's falling apart. Thank you for everything else that you've done, that you may or may not be aware of. Thank you for your patience, your understanding, your love and your compassion. But most of all, thank you for letting me "be" and loving me for me. ~*3 Slashes §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Monday, June 9th, 2008 | |
| 4:11 pm | Mmm...nice!
I used to have a favorite singer, song-writer, guitar player on youtube. His name's Jon Minter. I still like him. Not too long ago, while looking for an acoustic version for Journey's "Lights" I stumbled upon this guy. After listening to that one, I decided to listen to the other videos he's got up there... This is the best cover I've seen and heard in ages. His name is Brad Doggett. And this song is John Mayer's "Why Georgia". I think he's got a nice soothing voice. He's no Jared, but hey, he's good. So I'm posting this here. For me and also, to share it with others. I also liked his version of Blackbird. Which is one of my all-time favourite songs. In fact after hearing it, he's got me singing, "Blackbird singing in the dead of night....take these broken wings and learn to fly..." |
| Saturday, May 31st, 2008 | |
| 2:33 pm | I really love my job. But there are just some days that I wish I could scream at the top of my lungs while shaking someone violently until they pee their pants. Really, I love my job. But it's the idiots that I work with and their incompetencies that pisses me off.
I'm home from work now. I want to scream and do something to vent this anger and frustration, but I can't. My throat hurts and I'm too damn tired and exhausted to do anything else but sit here, in front of the fan and grumble about things. Grrr! |
| Thursday, May 22nd, 2008 | |
| 8:24 pm | WTF commercials.... I was watching TV today and I noticed these commecials: First, it's this steak sauce commercial. ... what the hell man? I'm hoping that someone would spoof this video and have that guy pick up his plate and break it against the guy's head and say, "Hey asshole, get your own damn sammich!" And then on top of that, pour the steak sauce over his head. "Yeah. Think that's a good idea now, huh? Huh???" And spit at him before leaving. "Bitch!" Next is just an example because there are many *MANY* veggie-drink commercials that end with the same result: Getting smacked on the head. .... what the hell? Okay, my version if it were up to me. As soon as anyone hits the other person and says "You could've had a V8". The person that's about to get hit would immediately grab that person, break his/her arm, beat him up, break a chair over his/her head. And then just pour V8 all over them and then break the bottle against the person's head. "Could've had a V8 huh? Could've just leave me the fuck alone you nosey fuck!" And then follow it up with a scene in which all the V8 people (the ones who've been doing the hitting) are gathered in this one building. It's like a V8-hitters convention. I'd send this guy in to do just what he did in this video and end it (where the video cuts off) with the guy saying, "Could've had a V8... but didn't." See? He just came in charging at the people because he's pissed and sick and tired of other people hitting him because he didn't drink the damn V8. And now that he's been pushed around, ridiculed for not drinking the V8 he goes to the V8-hitters convention and the makers of V8 and beats people up. Lesson of the story? Do not hit people just because they didn't drink their V8. This guy just might show up and beat the shit out of you. Heh. ~*4 Slashes §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Saturday, May 10th, 2008 | |
| 4:56 pm | TV ads that touches the heart.... A while back I mentioned something here on my journal about how I truly love this one car commercial. It's the Toyota commercial with the Peter Droge song called "Whichever the Wind Blows". I posted the video here because I really love the song and the guitar piece. It tugs at the heartstrings for reasons I cannot explain. Well I know that I've mentioned this one insurance tv ad that makes me sad everytime I see it--for various, personal reasons. I didn't know the name of the song or the artist that sings it. But I keep seeing the tv ad and it just kind of get stuck in my heart and the feeling I get from it kind of lingers on. Today, I found out who the artist is of that song, (which by the way, I'm teaching myself how to play that song with my acoustic guitar) and the name of the song. The song is called "From Where You Are" and it is by Lifehouse. The tv-ad I was talking about a long time ago was the Allstate Teen Driving Contract commercial. I finally found the full video of it on youtube.com (not the commercial but the whole song bit) and now, I guess I am posting it here for.... various, personal reasons as well. I'll say it a day early (at least a day early in my neck o' the woods) since I don't celebrate this day anymore: To all the mothers out there on my lj-friends list... I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to you. For me, tomorrow's just another day. And I really wish this weekend is over. Actually I really wish this month's finally over. I just want a new month and a fresh clean slate. Hm... and a nice, long shower and a slice of chocolate cake and uh... hmm. Good idea! Time to log off, bake a cake and shower up. ~*1 Slash §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | |
| 6:00 pm | Hm?  Every generation has its own personality. It shapes that era's responses to all kinds of situations like war, like love and...like ghosts. Different cultures have various contemporary notions about Spirituality. Every time someone think they've seen a ghost they have questions... "What is it?" "What does it tell us about reality?" ... "About God?" I think that as people try to answer these questions we have to remember that belief in a Spiritual Universe does not logically imply belief in God. Some think that the Spiritual World is simply another dimension of this world. God... or no God. ~*2 Slashes §CUT ME and WATCH ME BLEED*~ |
| Friday, March 28th, 2008 | |
| 1:43 am | Beyond the "I told you so" part....
There's this person at work who I talk to. He works at the coffee shop at the military facility I work in. I drop by during my lunch break and talk to him. Sometimes I see him walking by and we stop and talk for a bit exchanging pleasantries and what not. There's also this receptionist at my work that I talk to from time to time. She's really nice and our conversations are, for the most part, pleasant and sometimes hilarious...just like the conversations I have with the guy at the coffee shop. Are they my friends? I would say, "no". They could be if maybe we invested time and what not building a sort of relationship that blossoms into friendship by getting to know each other over time. But they aren't my friends. I wouldn't call them that. They are just people that I occassionally talk to. I can't even say that I "know" them. I know of them, yes. But no, I do not know them. I only talk to them from time to time. I find it strange that people tend to use that term "friend" loosely these days. I also find it strange that just because I once spoke to someone or exchanged pleasantries with them, I'm immediately considered their "friend" or "good friends" with them. In actuality and on the contrary, I only have less than a dozen people who I consider as "my friends". My true friends. Majority of those people aren't from online stuff.... You know what? I was going somewhere with this.... but now that I think about it some more, I rather not go any further with the point I was trying to make. Instead, I'll state that I'm actually enjoying being drama-free. And this is not necessarily about an online game or anyone in particular. It's about life in general. My life in general. See, a true and good friend of mine mentioned something to me earlier that really got me thinking. It also reminded me of this livejournal post I wrote a while back. I know that I'm guilty for giving in and allowing myself to be dragged into other people's drama and conflicts. We all are. After all, I thought I was doing what was best for everyone involved by trying to help. Offer advice and what not. But I learned from a really good friend that we all have choices. Some choose to wallow in that sort of drama filth and allow it to consume them. Others choose to detach themselves from that sort of thing and walk away from it. I like the latter choice. I've been enjoying the latter for quite some time. It's perplexing to see people go through the drama ordeal and in the end playing the "victim" and then finding some sort of sick satisfaction in whole "See? They did this to me and now I have to do this in return". I'm not obligated to help or point out what's so fucking obvious: It's happening because *YOU* are allowing it to happen. So much so that you go, "See? You made me do this!" No. Nobody forced you to do anything. You had choices. We all do. It's the choices and actions we make that determine how miserable or happy our life turns out. When it comes right down to it, everything that happens in your life is almost entirely up to you. You make it happen. You make it so. So when it all goes to pot, no one else is to blame but you. Another good friend of mine once asked a mutual friend of ours, why don't you just hold your hands up next time and say, "Nah-uh! Don't wanna know. So not going there. Not dealing with it. You're on your own. You did this to yourself. Leave me the fuck out of it." He's right. And it works. People already know what's generally right and wrong and what's acceptable among friends. A true friend will not knowingly and intentionally do things that will hurt you or cause you any grief. Fact is, a true friend would probably be the first one to slap you upside your head and tell you that you're fucking up all over again and you just damn better stop it already or else... and they'll never pass up the opportunity to rub it in your face and say "I fucking told you so." Thank goodness I do not have many friends. But those that I do have, I am thankful to have them in my life. As for the rest of the people out there...I'll just continue to sit back and be content in the not-knowing, not-dealing and not-wanting to know bit. So really... I don't want to know. So stop trying to involve me. Okay? And I think it's safe to say that I'm far beyond the "I told you so" part now. And I think my lj-buddy "J" said it best when he said: "Who I am is the difference between who I want to be and who I'm not... It's never who you want me to be." Unrelatedly.... Daniel, you're an idiot. Had you read my email and text messages or even bothered answering your phone you'd know why I'm calling you an idiot, you idiot. :P And Alex, I missed you by just a few minutes. And Stephanie? Damn you for taunting me with chocolatey goodness that is godiva! Rawrrr! |